Jessica Buxton

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Blogging through the Alphabet – Q January 8, 2014

I’m back!! After falling off the blogging wagon I’m back at it 🙂 so here is me picking up where I left off 🙂

Q is for Questioning God

Do you ever have those moments when you wonder “why me?” Or “why haven’t you answered my prayers?” Or even “why on earth am I here?”

I have had those moments and the only thing I can do is look back at how God has provided for me and how his plans have worked out so much better then the plans I made for myself. You know everyone loves to use the verse in Jeremiah as a good one when you are questioning God because he says “For I know the plans I have for you declares, The Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” And I like that verse but there are a few others that make me think about why I am questioning God like when I read, “Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.” (Psalms 139:16). It’s all in his book so why do I think I know better then Him. It’s like when my 3 year old tells me he is going to run around the house with his socks on (we have marble floors in our house which make for good occasions to slip and fall flat on your face) and I tell him that he shouldn’t do that because I know more then he does about socks on marble floors and slipping.

Or what about when Jesus said: Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. (Matthew 10:29-31)
You know after having both my sons my hair fell out and in like big clumps and so much that I thought I might have a bald spot but even with all of that going on God knows the exact number of hairs on my head…have you ever tried to count the strands of hair on your head? I tried once when I was a kid and I remember giving up not too far into it because I knew I could never get an exact count but if God knows the exact number of hairs on my head don’t you think I could get it through my head that I don’t need to question God.

This the God who created everything and I’m going to sit here and say “man God I can’t believe you didn’t do this for me” really! Please don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to judge you I’m just putting my feelings down. I wonder at the way my son talks to me sometimes so defiant and demanding, I wonder if that’s how we sound to God? Or maybe like when my son asks me why about everything under the sun. Do I sound like that broken record saying why, why, why all the time instead of saying you know what God I trust you to do what’s best for me even if it is painful or challenging or even frustrating.

One of my most favorite verses that I turn to is “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)”
God gives us specific instructions to trust in The Lord and not to lean on our own understanding…wow that’s like a slap in the face. Like God saying “wake up Jessi you don’t know as much as you think.”

So I guess if you’ve been questioning God lately you need to go back to the basics…Trust in The Lord. I have to do that on a regular basis.

Jessi

Also check out these other ladies who are blogging through the alphabet with me

 

Blogging through the Alphabet – M October 13, 2013

M is for Me

I have a great tendency to be very selfish. I think it’s one of my biggest pitfalls…the way I get pulled away from God the fastest. I want to see what everyone is doing on Facebook before I do my devotions which usually means I eat into my time with God instead of putting God first at the beginning of my day.

I want to spend time reading My books, instead of reading to my boys. I don’t like chicken and dumplings so I never fix it for my husband (even though he loves it). Talk about selfish….as I looked over my last week there is one big thing I noticed…I put myself first before my family on a regular basis. I was actually kinda surprised at how much I put myself before others…I am a selfish person, and the whole time I was walking around thinking I’m a pretty good mom and wife and friend (can you guess what a close second Pride was on the list of daily sins).

So my goal for this next week is to focus more on others, and most importantly God then my husband and sons.

And I know this is a regular battle I’m going to have to fight but I have the most powerful person on the planet on my side to help me win, if I look to Him, and that is God. I know I will fail, but I also know there will be love and forgiveness when I turn to God and say I really missed it this time…it’s nice to know that Christ’s love for us is unconditional.

What are you biggest pitfalls and how do you plan to over come them?

Check out these other blogs that I’m blogging thought the alphabet with…

Jessi

 

Blogging through the Alphabet – C July 10, 2013

Filed under: ABCs,Family,Life Experiences,Spiritual Truthes — jbuxton @ 4:30 am
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C is for Celebrate!

Monday, July 8, Marc and I celebrated 4 years of marriage! Yes I know many people say this is still the honeymoon stage but I think we have done great for all that we have been through already. Let me recap a little of what the last 4 years have looked like for us…

We got married here in Manila, July 8, 2009, on a beautiful afternoon…

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We then went on our honeymoon and came back to spend a little time with my family before I moved to the states with my new hubby…

We move in with Marc’s parents and started what we as missionaries call deputation (visiting churches to raise support so we can move to Manila as missionaries). We then started to travel around the entire USA and visit churches to raise support. We found out we were expecting after being married for 3 months. (Yes this was a surprise for us as we were planning to wait a little while before having kids but you can’t argue with God’s plan). We had Reece our first son 10 days after our 1st anniversary 🙂 (needless to say I was hugely pregnant on our first anniversary lol).

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We continued to travel with our little family and finally we were ready to move to the Philippines in June 2011. We shipped all our belongings and packed all our clothes and moved across the ocean to a new home. After being in the Philippines for almost 6 months we decided to try and have another kid. Well 9 months later we welcomed our second boy Levi.

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While I was pregnant with Levi our house flooded and we were pretty much stranded on our second floor for a couple of days. (I hope we never have to deal with another flood again).

So to bring you back to the present day we have two boys (Reece who is almost 3 and Levi who is 10 months). We’ve moved across an ocean with all of our belongings and we have lived through our house being flooded. There are lots of other little details that have also happened along the road but these are some of the major life changes for us.
Now, I know we haven’t been married a long long time but, there are a few things that have definitely helped us along the way.

First we have both strived to keep our personal relationships with God strong. Also, we have always tried to put God first in our marriage.
Second we have read a few books along the way that I would highly suggest for your marriage even if you are doing good there is never anything wrong with trying to do better…so here we go…

1. The Bible – you can’t go wrong if you do marriage God’s way.

2. Love and Respect – We read this book before we got married and it helped us understand each other so well. We have committed to read it once a year every year.

3. His Needs, Her Needs – We also read this book before we got married and it like Love and Respect helped us see each other in a different light and helped us understand where the other person was coming from.

So there you go!

See ya next week for letter D.

Check out the other blogs that I’m teaming up with to blog through the alphabet. They have some great stuff!

 

Blogging through the Alphabet – A June 27, 2013

Filed under: ABCs,Family,Spiritual Truthes — jbuxton @ 7:00 pm
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Attention.

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My kids long for my attention all the time. It feels like the minute I turn my attention from them they are trying to get my attention again. I can’t catch a break.

Isn’t it funny though, when it comes to our Heavenly Father we tell him we don’t need his attention. I find myself telling him that I’m all right and I don’t need his help right now. When really I don’t want the attention drawn to my short comings or all the ways I fail him on a regular basis. When really I should be dying for a second of His attention even though, I may be corrected in the process. But if I am spending lots of time with my Heavenly Father I shouldn’t be so upset with the small corrections that I get in the large amount of time that I’m spending with him. You see the more time you spend with someone the closer you feel to them and the more likely you are to listen to their corrections.

So as much as my kids need my attention I also need attention from my Father.

I struggle as a mom when my kids are dying for my attention I feel like I have very little time for myself. I have been working to get up at least an hour before my rowdy boys get up so I can spend time with my Heavenly Father, who wants to shower me with his attention. I get my fill of his attention which helps carry me through the day with my two boys who are always trying to keep my attention. I can go back to the time I spent with Him in the morning if my day feels like more then I can handle.

When do you take time to get your attention fill from God?

Jessi

 

The Hardest Job I will Ever Have April 21, 2013

Filed under: Family,Life Experiences,Motherhood,Spiritual Truthes — jbuxton @ 9:18 pm

Being a mom is the toughest job I’ve ever had! I feel like I’m failing every day. I wonder if that is how God feels with us. Always correcting and some praise only to turn right back around and correct us again.
I sound like a broken record. “What did mommy say? That’s right No No.” All day long everyday. Training kids is no walk in the park. It’s always challenging me, pushing me to the edge, and testing ever last ounce of patience I have in my body.
It’s hard work. A mix of manual labor and mind bending work all in one. At the end of the day I’m dying for adult conversation. I told my husband some days I would kill to sit at a desk and do paper work for hours on end. Lol.
I’ve traded in getting my nails done to maintaining two little boys nails. I try my best to brush my teeth and get a shower much less get makeup on for stinky, sweaty, and slimy boys that I try to keep semi clean. I’ve traded an office for a play room and painful high heals for the pains of stepping on hot wheels and Legos.
This is my life. The one I signed up for. One I’ve looked forward to since I was young. Being a mom is the best job I could ever have. Ya it’s tough it is so worth all the crazy to be able to know that I get to be called Mom! Yes it’s true some days I would trade it for anything without even stopping to think about it, but most days I wouldn’t even consider trading it for anything. Not even a million dollars and a never ending shopping budget.
I choose to be mom and I plan on never giving up. I know that God choose me and will never give up on me so as a living example that I try to be to my sons I will mirror God’s love for me to my kids.

Jessi

 

My Child and God’s Child April 11, 2011

Filed under: Baby,Family,Life Experiences,Motherhood,Spiritual Truthes — jbuxton @ 8:40 am

My little boy is going to be 9 months in a few days and I can’t believe time has gone by so fast.  I still remember the day he was born and now I’m trying to keep him from pulling all of our books off the shelves.  I know why God made us the way he did…with the whole learning new things little by little in he first year and onwards…not for the kid but for the parents.  If Reece could have walked when he was 3 months old I think I would have had a heart attack.  God knew what he was doing making it so that I would be able to deal with my little baby growing up.  And really he hasn’t grown up that much I know but these last 9 months have gone by so fast its unreal.  I’m not going to lie I do miss the days when I could lay him on the floor under the fan and he would be in the same spot I left him when I came back. lol.   Do you want to see how much he has grown?  Sure you do 🙂

this was when Reece was 2 days old and

This was just last week.

I have learned so much as a mom these last few months and I have matured a lot since I became a mom.  I love being a mom!  God has shown me so much about myself through my little baby and how I am his child and how he loves me.  I always wonder if my love for my son is so great how much more greater is God’s love for me.  I have learned that if I am going to be able to grow in Christ I need to be in his word daily where he can show me what he wants for me just like I need to be teaching my own son daily.  In sunday school this last sunday we had our childrens director come in and talk to us about kids and raising kids.  Wow what an eye opener for me.  Marc and I talked a lot about that lesson and how we want to be good parents to Reece and set a Godly example for him but we can’t do that unless we are in God’s word daily.  I’m not writting this to make anyone feel bad but mostly for me to remind myself that I need to be doing this if this is what I want my kids to be doing. 

Thanks for listening!

 

Truthes in a Diaper Bag August 26, 2010

Filed under: Family,Life Experiences,Motherhood,Spiritual Truthes — jbuxton @ 10:28 am
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As I was going through my son’s diaper bag the other day trying to find something I realized my life right now kinda looks like his diaper bag.  Let me explain.  Reece’s diaper bag is a disaster at the moment because I’ve just been throwing things in it that we will need when we are not home.  If you know me I can be an organized person and since before Reece was born all of his things were organized and all in their proper places.  His diaper bag looks like something exploded inside of it.  My life right now kinda feels like that.  Just to find time to get a shower or do the dishes has been challenging.  It’s funny to think about it but since my son has arrived I haven’t done much.  I get a load of laundry done here and there and sometimes I get the dishes washed but seldom does it happen in the same day.  There are things all over my house that need to be cleaned up and I’m slowly getting things put away or cleaned off but its a process.  I think it’s kind of like my spiritual life.  God is taking me in this state of dishevelled mess and changing me one thing at a time into who he wants me to be.  He is shaping my life and my future so that I will be able to shine for him.  I know there will be days when I will mess things up but by God’s grace He will help me clean up the messes that I make.  Funny how looking through my son’s diaper bag can bring to mind other things.   Here is a picture of Reece’s Diaper Bag just to give you an idea of what it looks like.

 

 
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